A life that was torn, A heart that was marred...
Emotions that were ruined, feelings that had become hard.
A determination to not relive the past.
That was my plan...That was the task!
Then You come into my life in quite an unexpected way.
You began to break into that wall of mine the very first day.
You showed such true love and concern from the start,
That it became hard for me to remember to protect my heart.
I realized I was losing my grip, that I'd lost sight of the plan.
What had happened? I couldn't understand...
I just needed to focus, I just needed to remember the past.
That would put the walls back up real fast!
I found those memories again and held them tight..not willing to bend.
Whatever it took, I would not walk that road again.
I couldn't love completely...I simply would not trust.
I had to rebuild that wall, making it higher...it simply was a must!
Most people inevitably fall short of your hopes once you let them in.
Therefore I told myself it was senseless to open up, and to love again.
I laughed at people who trusted some one's word.
To depend on something so unsure; to me just seemed absurd!
I fought hard within myself...protecting my heart was a must!
Why was I suddenly loving again? Why the feelings of trust???
This wasn't in my plans...Really, I couldn't understand!
See, I thought it best to hide behind a facade, to turn my feelings into stone.
I thought it was safer to show no heart, no feelings, no mind...just flesh and bone.
Now I see that I was wrong...I opened my life, and freely began to let you become a part.
Now, like a favorite song, often played, you are a part of my heart.
I've found that I can not only be loved...I can love and be sustained.
I can give of myself again...knowing that it doesn't make me vulnerable to more pain.
With all I've been through, I've seen the worst someone can be.
But none of that matters, for now I can stand free....Outside of the crumbled wall!
By: Carol Kennon