...in a heartbeat!
Tomorrow Anthony and I will celebrate our 21st anniversary. He asked me tonight on the way to church if I had it to do over if I'd marry him again. My reply was 'Of course I'd do it all over again...I'd have 21 years of experience and not have to make all the silly mistakes young couples make and learn from.'
Seriously, I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'd say yes just as fast as I did the first time. I love this man with all my heart. I thought today about all the things we have been through in the last 21 years, and I found myself crying one moment and laughing the next. I found myself smiling at all the crazy things we found to do when we were much younger and much more careless! Then I couldn't help but cry when I looked back at how the hard times only drew us closer together. The years of wanting a child and trying to have a child and then losing three babies to miscarriages were some of the hardest times of our marriage, yet we let those times bring us closer and make us stronger as a couple. I can't help but smile when I remember all the nights he would hold me close and tell me that one day we'd be parents and bring our child home instead of leaving the hospital empty-handed and coming home to an empty nursery. Of course, I didn't believe him at that moment, for my emotions were too raw and my heart couldn't believe or trust in that dream. He never judged me for being so negative about it...he just loved me and believed for me.
It struck me speechless tonight as I looked into the back seat on our way to church and seen that beautiful little boy sitting in his carseat and chatting away to his dad and I about his day. I couldn't say a word for a moment...all I could do was smile and think how much our marriage has been blessed by this little miracle. How I now have everything that matters...I have the love and faithfulness of a great husband, a beautiful and healthy little boy, a nice home, food to eat, the list could go on forever. I am a blessed woman. I have the things that some people search their whole lives for and never find.
So, in answer to your question, honey...YES, I'd do it all over again! In a heartbeat. It's a wonderful feeling to still be in love after all these years.